2012: New Starts. To Everything.

This also means my blog. I've created a new blog, mostly because this one is a part of me that was young and childish, and I decided to change. Yet this part of me was sheltered and I want to keep it here so I can remind myself of myself. In case I ever lose myself. Ah, those teenage years. :')

I'd most likely stop blogging in this one (no surprises there, I don't update that regularly for it to matter anyway) and concentrate solely on the new one. Hopefully with my new schedule I can wrangle more time out more frequently to update regular. Or at least regular enough to mean something.

The new blog is still in need of a makeover, so do forgive the lack of effort put into the thing, haha.

 Here's to a  great year and a great start! Best of luck to all!

FINALLY.

Oh good god, I can finally get to updating my dead blog wtf.

SPM is finally over (technically, no, but I'm not doing anymore studying.) and I am left with a lot time. There's so much things I want to do. Like learning how to drive a car hurrr. I just want to take a break from it all.

Surprisingly my dad was kind enough to allow me to enroll in the May intake for ADP, lolol. 5 months of freedom, I can finally get cracking on my bike, with my tennis racket (ILOVEYOUBB), dropping by Tsun Jin ever so often to see my awesome friends and bug them at EEDS, start playing my violin properly (although the bow needs to be replaced, damn), probably do some cooking or things, catch up on all those shows I want to watch (GLEE) and all those books I've yet to buy. Oh, and blog regularly. How many times have I said that already? ._.

Either way. It's hard  to believe that high school is over, just like that. I mean, what happened?? First I was in Junior One, then suddenly BAM SPM AND SCHOOL'S OVER WTF. I spent five years of my life going to Tsun Jin High School. Everyday, for the same repetitive routine. Yet I still can't seem to get enough of it.

At least next year I can still go back and see Chyi and Sushi... A few more years down the road and each of us will be in different parts of the world, doing different things. I'll miss them so much.

I'm already missing them now, wtf lol. This is when I start spamming their Facebook walls.

I've gotten fat.

Friends. Gotta love them.

I don't know what's the point of this blog post, other than to confirm of my existence. I'll blog again (hopefully soon) when I clear and reorganize my head.

Caution. This Is Not Written In A Sane State Of Mind

Indeed. I am feeling rather peculiar today.

Perhaps this would better describe my feelings. I am feeling rather lazy.

We're All Looking Forward To The Future

Because I don't think I'm going to live that long, and I honestly can't see myself five years later.

(On a completely unrelated note, I just watched The Men Who Stare At Goats this morning, and I'm loving that movie. It knocked Inglorious Basterds off the list.)

Well anyway. I want to get into Taylor's College. I want to drive there everyday. Occasionally I would go back to Tsun Jin and pop in to see S3S3 (woot!) and EEDS. I want to make a lot of friends and we'd hang out together and wreck havoc upon campus. I'm going to dye my hair a fantastic shade of red. I'll go on trips with my friends to Thailand, Singapore, Australia (and see Spoons), some parts of China. I'll live the glorious, happy, worry-less life. I want to go to a OneRepublic concert. I want to cycle again. I want to play tennis again. I want to buy a tablet and spend rainy days working on the stack of line-arts I've drawn these past four years. I want to get a pet hedgehog and bring it to parks and take pictures. I want to go to cosplay conventions with friends. I want to join the Debating Team, the Comic society and maybe even the Photography Club, the Drama society, or anything else that perks my interest. I want to be able to update my blog regularly and give it face lifts every now and then. I want to dabble in everything. I want to learn French. I want to paint. I want to be able to draw the entire day, pencils and ink pens strewn over my table. I want to make sea-salt ice-cream and bake cookies and cook dinner for my family and relatives. I want to live my life.

In short, I don't want another life where I have to wake up at 6.30 in the morning, wear the same uniform, pick up the same bag, wear the same shoes, meet the same people, do the same things, and then end the year thinking to myself, what did I accomplish this year? Have I finished one of my pet projects? Have I done anything inspiring? Have I been totally immersed in doing something I want? And I have to ask myself, Could I focus that much time and effort into something outside of schoolwork?

I've lived this past 5 fucking years of my life being stuck in a rut. I haven't improved anywhere. I have at least half a dozen unfinished pet projects lying around my room. I never have the time to sit down properly and JUST DO THEM. I always get told to not waste my time.

What use are they going to be?


Can you learn anything useful for school?


You can't afford to spend time on these frivolous things.

Yesterday my dad asked me whether 'Sandisk' was the best thumbdrive brand out there. I zoned out for a while, and said, "I don't know." My mom commented that recently all I've said is "I don't know." or "I'm tired." And I honestly couldn't muster the energy to talk to her anymore.

I don't even read the newspaper now. The only things I read are textbooks and workbooks and past year papers. I go on Facebook and click around and I close my computer again. I open my math text book, attempt a question or so, then close it. I pull out my Chemistry textbook and stare at the equations and formulas and names of acids and bases and their color and their state and whether or not they're soluble in water, or organic solvents, and their reactions with other elements. I do Physics past years without much thought. I scribble away on Biology papers. I stare out the window when I feel my head getting too full, and when I look back at the papers on my desk I find that everything has escaped out the windows.

So I repeat.

Birthday Wishlist

...because I'm too cheap to buy all this for myself. Obviously  I think conning enough people into getting it for my birthday will help with my incontrollable shopping desires and weeping wallet.

I need, most importantly, a violin tuner. Anyone who can manage to get me one, I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER.

The rest  here are books, listed in no particular order:

• The Small Hand (A Ghost Story) [Susan Hill]
• The Magician's Guild/High Lord/The Novice [Trudi Canavan]
• Will Grayson, Will Grayson [John Green & David Levithan]
• The Less-Dead [April Lurie]
• The Hunter Games trilogy
• Slice of Cherry [Dio Reeves]
• The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie [Alan Bradley]
• The Weed That Strings the Hangman's Bag [Alan Bradley]
• The Case of the Missing Servant [Tarquin Hall]
• The Baker Street Letters [Michael Robertson]

...Yes, this is a desperate attempt to beg for books. I HAZ NO MOAR! DDD:

I'm Doing the Gandalf.

Nothing pwns Gandalf.

Being Inconsequential

I understand that I have not updated in a scandalously long time, and even now I just dropped in to get some stuff off my chest.

Some updates, so you can skip the pathetic rant later:

• My PSP was fixed, thanks to that guy in Times Square. :D
• I haven't read KHR since mentioned in the last post, so I totally don't know the direction of where ever it's going.
• I totally died in the HELP Debate.
• I found out that I have self-esteem issues.
• I need a better reason to live.
• Perhaps Science stream isn't for me.
• I have an Obsession (yes, it's capitalized.) with Kingdom Hearts.
• More specifically, Roxas.
• Roxas is my religion.
• I need more sleep.
• My mum has issues with me, and she's playing favorites to my brother.
• Even though I love my brother and all.
• I screwed up this exam too.
• C2age!!!! It's got the most perfect timing ever! But guess what? None of my friends can accompany me...
• ...and my mum says I cannot go alone.
• FUUUUUUUUUUUUU---

Yeah, that's basically a very very concentrated version of whatever shit happened recently. Those I can think of, anyway.

I had a longer post/rant I actually planned for yesterday, but it's full of emo and angst and insecurity so screw it I'm not going to make my blog more negative than it already is.

I need more time in my life.