Frustration Is Unbecoming

I absolutely hate earholes. They're annoying and they never seem to heal properly and my mother keeps telling me NO, YOU CANNOT WEAR THE PRETTY PRETTY EARRINGS. What is the point of earholes besides? I don't understand my earholes, IT IS SO HARD TO GET THOSE DAMNED ASLFKSDSDAJFLSK STICKS IN. WAIWAIWAIWAI-

Is it just me?

On another hand, Facebook seems to be at loggerheads with me especially on the whole uploading pictures front. No, I don't appreciate being logged out of FB every two minutes, ESPECIALLY WHEN I AM EDITING THOSE PICTURES.

I lost a little of my frustration through the help of some friends, so I'm feeling a little better now.

Um.

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!
(This seems inappropriate. The content and the greeting is not even remotely related.)

ANYONE IN THE CNY HYPE YET????

Is it just me, or is Chinese New Year getting less attention than ever? What happened to all the festive songs and food and celebration and general hyperactivity?

Well, I mean. Just selling stuff that has something, no matter how vaguely, to do with the Rabbit does NOT make it a festive celebration. MY MUNNY MAGIKALLY DISAPPEARS EVERY TIME I GO UP THERE WTFFFFF- but anyway. Bangsar put up some rather pretty decorations. Red lanterns! So cute! We just finished smothering our classroom in pink paper chains and tacky ang pow paper crafts this afternoon. Yet somehow, I don't really feel the CNY atmosphere.

CNY is supposed to be a time of fun and party and lots of laughter and the general happy feeling. Yet all my friends are busy doing society stuff (granted, it's for the spring festival, BUT STILL) and all my teachers are loading homework upon homework on our backs (granted, it's our SPM year, BUT STILL) and then there's this incredible subtle stress which comes from EVERYWHERE. It's like I can't even let myself relax and enjoy my holiday now!

Not to mention how I keep dithering on the brink of feeling unwell and downright sick, so it's terrible for me to try to pay attention in class when the fan is right above my head. At least 5 people questioned whether I should even be at  school or not. :'D Aww I lubb jo guys! (Yes, I have awesome friends.)

Also, the Inception soundtrack, however great it may be, is not a very good CNY mood starter.

HAHAHA.

My Hair Shocks Everybody. All the Time.

When I walked into school today with my new haircut, I knew I was in for a ride. Again. This happened with the last style too.

...
DANNY I ABSOLUTELY LOVE YOU. :'DDDD

I am now "Punk" to Henry, who says that because apparently my hair now resembles what punks would have. I fist-bump with him. WHY THE HELL AM I DOING FIST BUMPS?!

Fishtail said my hair was "lap sap" and I will do something that may or may not threaten his future offspring. HELLO. (Okay, so was joking. I hope.)

Um. I was otherwise told that my hair was damn cool. Yeeeaaaahhhhhh!!!!

Lisa expressed mirth, Xiao Rui disapproved and Mr Abby gave me the Absolute Look of Horror.

Wow. I love my hair.

Color Your Own Cookie!

COOKIE MONSTAAAHHH!!!

Well anyways. My sister and I did this amazing job of coloring Hello Kitty... then eating it.

It. Was. The. Bomb.

It's pretty expensive though, but it was a very fun experience.

This is what we had to work with.

Green apples!

We colored really hard, like kids. HEY. WE'RE STILL YOUNG, Y'KNOW.

Finally, our work:

(You can tell who did which.)

*bite*

*CHOMP*

(Note that my sister's HK is crying red tears...)

We cleaned up the rest of the murder scene without the cops coming to arrest us. If I had a chance...

I WOULD SO WANT TO DO IT AGAIN.

I Do Things For Reasons I Do Not Comprehend

...but it is apparently for my own good. I was curious as to why I deleted the comicfiesta forum bookmark off my bookmark tabs, but after hanging around the place for the past hour or so, it dawned on me that my past self, in a phase of sudden clarity, deleted it to keep the future/present me out of harm's way.

I have this urge to spend hundreds of ringgit on a few more costumes already. RO's hunter costume, because it is RO, and nothing can beat RO. Also my recent (okay, so I've been harboring it for some time now...) obsession with Kingdom Hearts: Birth By Sleep and when Bear asked me to draw Aqua earlier today had me thinking of cosplaying her too.

Unfortunately, my plans never go accordingly. My young Sasuke costume which cost me a fair amount of cash for newbie exp points is still stashed deep in my cupboard. Deeeep. There is definitely no way I'm going to cosplay this year ("SPM! STUDY AND GET INTO STANFORD!" Liek omg man STFU!!!) so... *pokes Taylor's Cosplay Club*

C'mon, this is being highly unfair! I've planned year after year of cosplay events and something comes up last minute all the time! I've done this for close to four years now, okay? AT LEAST LET ME HAVE A COSPLAY PHOTOSHOOOOOOT. D: (Or find some cosplayer friends. TJ people have this strange aversion to the camera...)

Yeah, I have to wait until collage.

OH WELL, WHAT TO DO. This is life.

Dammit I should stop reading inspirational stories. They make me want to kill myself earlier and go to heaven sooner. (Yes, that is totally not the point of inspirational stories, I know.)

Insertion of Whiny Self-Centered Rant

I must warn people first that I am extremely biased towards Justin Bieber AND his Bielibers (or however the hell you spell 'em) therefore this post WILL MOST DEFINITELY include bad words against JB.

(However, this post will eventually turn to Adam Lambert, so you could skip everything until you see the red stars. Well, unless you hate Adam Lambert, then you can stop reading my blog altogether. I kid, I kid. Maybe.)






If you think you may feel offended, you may leave.









I'm leaving a lot of space so you won't 'accidentally' read what would perhaps, anger you so much you'd hate me for the rest of your life.





Although I don't think I would particularly care.






All gone? Good.

First let me say that I don't have anything against his singing. I'm not going to criticize his singing. His singing is okay, even though he sounds like a teenage girl with a particularly whiney voice. His songs are like Lady Gaga's, it's catchy and then you start hating yourself for singing it. Yes, that has happened to me tons of time.

The one thing I hate is how everybody is worshipping him now. C'mon, he's 16. Technically speaking, HE SHOULD BE IN HIGH SCHOOL BREAKING HIS MIND OVER CALCULUS. But noooo, he's going to go around the world SINGING SONGS and SMILING AT FANGIRLS who are going to FAINT because LIEK OMG IT'S JUSTIN BIEBER OMGGGGGG.

Also, I have nothing against cougars, but hello, he's a kid who hasn't reached puberty. THAT IS SORT OF WRONG.

And why Bangsar, of all places? Why, did you think that everybody who lives in/near/around Bangsar would be automatically categorized into JB Fans, therefore PROFIT! ...Yes, I think that's what the organizer would think. YEAH WELL SCREW YOU TOO. I COULDN'T EAT MY ROTI CANAI IN PEACE THIS MORNING I TELL YOU. HELLO. FOOD OF GODS WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE.

I cannot understand how he is considered 'attractive'. His hair, IMHO, is completely retarded, his smile does not make me swoon, and basically, if he walked up to me doing that hair flip, I would be repulsed. Of course, he wouldn't have a chance to do that, BECAUSE HIS FANGIRLS WILL BE THERE. FOREVER.

And this is where I shall break away from JB, and because I don't want to waste too much time on him, I have no solid point against him, and it is all biased comments. Yes, I know that. Yes, I know a lot of people will hate. No, I don't think I would care very much. No, I do not agree that I should die. JB fans will always be in the dark corner of my mind jailed together with Twilight fans (most likely the same people, anyway) and there's nothing you can do about it.

*****

Now I get to talk about Adam Lambert, yay!

This is also completely biased, I know. But hey.

Firstly, I want to say I heart him because of his looks. (and that he's gay.) When I first saw his picture in the Star (I do not watch AI. At all.) listing all the contestants, I was very impressed. I especially loved his hair, because it was exactly like my idea of Perfect Hair. Yes, that was capitals. It is Perfect Hair, right down to his blue highlights. Kris Allen is cute too, but Adam charmed me off my feet. And that was just his picture.

THEN HIS SONG APPEARED IN 2012.

Yeah, that completely won me over. After that I became insanely obsessed with him, to the extent of doing this:

I had Chemistry finals the next day, but HELLO THIS IS ADAM LAMBERT. The poster of him is amazingly cute. (cue insane giggles)

Did anyone go see his concert (except Phyllis, because... yeah.)? Or watched the video? His charisma. Hell, my sister (who have only heard his songs from me, haha) agreed he was completely mesmerizing. (I am using the word 'completely' waaaayy too much.) He goes up on stage and then he completely (see??) floors you with all that glam and drama and THIS IS ADAM LAMBERT WE'RE TALKING ABOUT, HELLO!!!

I am sounding like a crazy fangirl, but what the effff.

Okay, so I don't particularly like him with sparkly purple hair, but he looks really really good in black.

C'mon, he's cute.

(I don't see Kris Allen around anymore. Is he just going to leave us with one Live Like We're Dying? JUST ONE SINGLE LAJLDSHLSDJFLSDKJFLSD WHYY I WANT MOAR.)

My mom is yelling at me to go to bed, but I don't want to care anymore. I still have tons of homework.

OH WELL. I wonder when he's coming back to Malaysia. Or even better, I'll just watch his concerts in the US. CUZ THEN I CAN SEE THE KISS- 

Yeah 'kay I'll go to sleep now. G'night.

Departures

That movie always have me crying. I've watched it three times. And Money No Enough 2. I've watched it twice. And all those short movies which turn out to be advertisements that's being shared around on facebook, I cry at those too.

When my mom gets home I'm going to whine at her for giving tear ducts that can't stop itself.

It's just that family is really important to me. Especially when it involves grandmothers and their ever busy kids. That they just leave the grandparents alone until it's too late.

I'm selfish. I'm always thinking of the delicious food my grandmother makes every Chinese New Year without thinking of how tired she is, trying to prepare so much for all of us.

She recently sprained her ankle and I was suddenly aware of how empty her apartment is when it's not Chinese New Year. Every time I go there's tons of people, so I never feel so, but it's true. When we leave, it's just her and her eldest son who's usually out the whole day or on the computer.

It's just her and her chinese dramas.

I'm feeling so incredibly sad now, I should really go to sleep or else I'm going to cry at school again tomorrow.

I JUST DON'T KNOW ANYMORE

I wanted to quit with the whole emo thing, but no. You get more teenage angst, HAHAHAHA!

I'm getting addicted again. I WANT TO BE GOOD. I really try, but then I see the colorful yellow and I think of silvery white and I see sparks and hear great SFX and then my mind goes blank.

I will think about this until my head explodes, so let me just say, that this year's society is going to be quite frankly, uncomfortable for me. I WANT LUNCH. OUT OF SCHOOL. Preferably with CAT and the two gaytards.

Ps. On another note, even though I still get excited about yaoi, I'm just not so into it anymore. I think this has something to do with the addiction mentioned above, but yeah. :\ Or it's just SasuNaru.

GOKUDERA I STILL WORSHIP YOU. PLZ HAZ MOAR SCREENTIME. D:

...And So On

This may perhaps have got something to do with this song in my head that starts off like,

If I die young

Wrap me up in satin

And lay me down

On a bed of roses

Sink me in the river

At dawn

Send me away

With the words of a love song

Hurrr damn you red.fm!

 

I Still Don't Know

Perhaps I need help, because I don't think this is the sort of things a 16-going-on-17 teenage girl thinks of.

Note to all: Extremely moody week ahead. Or perhaps I will turn over a new leaf, for the better.

I'm going to sleep now.

This Says So Much.

I've noticed that I always have amazingly weird ideas in the shower. About an hour ago I was wondering what it'll be like for me if I have cancer.

Yeah, cancer. It's not like I know anyone who has cancer. I didn't even have a specific cancer in mind.

Anyhows I know I'd be angry. Really really angry, because I'm not the kind of saint who would smile and try to make the best of their short life. I'm just not a saint in general.

It was then when I was thinking up my imaginary (angry) blog post that I noticed I have an amazingly flawed personality and I do nothing about it.

I could always try to change, but I never wanted to. I complain about so many things and I bitch about people/things/stuff a lot but when I think about it, oh god, I hate myself so much. I'm an inconsiderate selfish bitch whom people try to avoid, because I'm noisy and loud (and inconsiderate, but I already said that, right?) and I like to hit people for no particular reason, and even though I'm always going on about guys who are sexist, I'm sexist in the way that means I ask them to do stuff for me 'because they're guys.' I feel so bad now.

I hardly have any respect for any of my teachers, let alone my peers. I'm overconfident and when somebody threatens me in that position I'm running away and hating him (but he was an ass anyway) and somebody please kill me now. I don't understand why someone could still befriend an arrogant annoyance like me. I wonder if they would, if they understand all these horrible thoughts running through my head all day.

Chyi, Sushi, you guys are amazing. I love you guys to bits.

Phyllis, because you're Phyllis. 'Nuff said.

Lisa and XR, because honestly you two were my closest best friends that (I hope) will always be around.

HR and ST, because you two are wonderful, and I know you guys will always be around.

Akane, because she's been around for like... forever.

Jia Woei, you are an ass and you don't deserve your own mention, but hey you're never going to see this and since I'm being all open tonight, you're good. I know you're good. Just keep up the good work, you're going to surpass me. (Of course, you have the whole 'good boy' thing going on which the teachers just absolutely love, and GARH it annoys me to no end.)

My brother, because he was my idol.

My sister, because everyone loves her.

My mom, because she's always there.

My dad, because he teaches me stuff, even when I resent it.

Denise & family, because they gave me the best childhood ever.

I feel like I'm writing a suicide note.


I really want to kill myself and start over.

New Year?

Hey.

I'm still in Taiwan. I'll be back tomorrow.

I don't think there will ever be a detailed blog post about my trip to the US. (you guys know how my blog posts about my vacations turn out...) but there are, of course, highlights.

• saw Wong2, talked, ate, moped around because I couldn't finish my burger. Great fun. Wong2 grew so much taller. D: Damn american food.
• DISNEYLAND.
• met up with  my brother. Won't be seeing him again for quite some time. D:
• Skiing is fun.
• SNOW. You know what that means.
• stuck in airport because of aforementioned snow. D:
• mom nearly threw up on the plane to Taiwan.
• New Year's celebration in Taiwan.

There are times when I wish this trip would never end, when I cried, when I argued, when I wished I was back in Malaysia, when I wished for any tropical country, when I stuffed myself fat, when I want to hug all my amazing friends again.

See you guys on the third. :D

I love school.